Attraction, friendship, love, sex and commitment?

On the other hand, about 45.4% of women aged 25-49 and 73.0% of men aged 25-59 are sexually active at age 18. For this reason, adolescents themselves must be more alert when making the decision to give way to sex in their lives, and parents must guide their children more about an aspect for which they are not yet prepared. Looking the other way and letting them do what they want will never be the right way out.

On the subject, psychologist Haydée Flores points out that during adolescence there is a marked increase in the production of sexual hormones in both girls and boys, which produces a series of changes not only physical but also psychological and social.

PHYSICAL CHANGES

Among the most notable physical changes are:
Voice change
Villi on the body (genital, face, armpits)
height increase
Appearance of acne
Growth of the genitals, especially in men
Muscle development (in men)
Sweat with odor
Nocturnal ejaculations and semen production
Widening of the hips
breast growth
Appearance of menstruation

CHANGES IN THE WAY OF THINKING

Physical changes do not appear in isolation, changes also occur in the structure of thought, since the child goes from concrete logical thinking to abstract logical thinking. That is, he is already capable of analyzing things, of creating assumptions, which leads him to see the world differently than his childhood mind did, explains Flores.

These important changes in his thought structure are what lead the young man to question his parents, he is now able to analyze and judge things, and dad and mom are no longer those who "know everything", they give what they psychologists call "idol breakdown." These changes are linked to the establishment of new social relationships where the group of equals (their peers) come to occupy a primary place in their lives, even replacing, in importance, their parents.

ATTRACTION

According to the psychologist, one of the greatest transformations - a product of this hormonal ebullition - is the attraction that the young person begins to feel for the opposite sex, which leads to establishing dating relationships.

There are those who express that during adolescence and youth is when this sensation is most intense, but Flores states that one of the strongest attractions of the human being is the sexual attraction or impulse, "and speaking coldly, without romanticism, it is a necessary condition for the preservation of the species," he adds.

THEY ARE READY?

There is no specific age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, what parents should teach young people is that they learn to recognize when they are ready to assume the consequences of their actions. They must be clear that dating must be a relationship not only based on sexuality, but that there are other feelings of affection and the need to share life with another person.

However, young people should know that a dating relationship involves physical attraction that involves caresses that lead them to run the risk of falling into a sexual relationship for which they are not prepared. Having a sexual relationship during adolescence carries great risks that the young person should be aware of. Before having a sexual relationship, the adolescent should ask themselves if they are prepared to assume the consequences that it may bring.

IT'S MORE THAN PLEASURE

It is advisable to keep in mind that sexual relations are not only reduced to a demonstration of affection that provides a high degree of pleasure. Also consider some possible consequences such as pregnancy, the spread of communicable diseases, and the feelings of anger, guilt, and regret that often occur when you are not emotionally prepared for this event. And it's rare for a teenager to be emotionally prepared for that.

OTHER ELEMENTS TO CONSIDER

The attraction that one feels for a person in adolescence or at any stage of life is the first step that begins courtship, "but we must remember that the attraction is purely physical and although we do not like to say it, it is hormonal," says the psychologist. In love there are other elements. According to the theory of the "Sternber Triangle", PASSION, INTIMACY and COMMITMENT are the necessary ingredients for mature and consummated love.

Passion refers to an intense attraction or physical desire as occurs -for example- in love at first sight. It's like an addiction or "blind love" that quickly fades away.

Intimacy refers to the knowledge and degree of communication that the couple has. Without intimacy the relationship fails.

But Commitment refers to the decision made together (by the couple) to maintain said love, to get married, have children and start a home.

DO THIS EVALUATION BEFORE

On the other hand, to decide whether or not to have sexual relations, it is useful to first evaluate the type of relationship you have with the other person and the level of commitment of both.

"When we work with young people, generally, we ask them to ask themselves a series of questions that allow them to be clearer about when they are prepared for a dating relationship with coital relations."

For this it is convenient to answer the questions:

How long have we known each other?

Why do I want to have sex?

Does the answer to the previous question agree with my values ​​and my future goals?

What will we do if I get pregnant or if I get pregnant?

How stable is our relationship?

How do I feel about my partner?

How does my partner feel about me?

Does my partner have a sexually transmitted disease?

Does my partner respect my feelings, or pressure me to have sex?

Are sexual relations so important to my partner that he would leave me if I don't have them?

Will my partner continue to have sex with me?

CONSEQUENCES

Dating relationships, in and of themselves, are not bad, but they carry the great risk of falling into a sexual relationship, which generally the young person does not assume responsibly, since they are unplanned relationships.

The young person must know that adolescence is not the best period to assume motherhood or responsible fatherhood. An early motherhood can truncate the life project of a young man or woman and, although the new laws allow them to remain inserted in the school system, the complications of studying with the commitment of a baby are greater. Furthermore, the adolescent is not prepared, no matter how much he or she wants to, to assume all the responsibilities that come with being a mother or father and, in most cases, it is the grandparents who assume the financial and upbringing commitments of this new baby.

Data from the ENASSER Study indicate that 19.8% of women between 15-19 years old are mothers or pregnant. Women without education have a higher percentage of births before age 20, compared to women with some degree of higher education (43.7% and 11.1%, respectively).

INTERNET IS ONLY FOR FIRST CONTACT

For all of the above, everyone should know that Internet relationships by themselves imply greater risk, according to the expert's opinion. "If in a normal face-to-face relationship, getting to know the other person is not an easy task, it is even more complex and complicated to establish this type of relationship through the Internet."

"We cannot escape technology, which has led to a whole system of new 'social networks'; perhaps a first contact on the Internet is not bad, but it should never replace the traditional ways in which we relate to other people. "The young man or woman must know that if they establish a relationship online they have to take time to get to know each other in person and that this first contact on the web is precisely that, a first contact."

ABOUT ENASSER

The National Sexual and Reproductive Health Survey of Panama (ENASSER 2009) is designed to provide updated data on population and sexual and reproductive health indicators, since this information has not been available in the country for approximately 20 years.

The main objective of the survey is to provide key data on demographic and health indicators. Specifically, ENASSER 2009 provides data on fertility levels, union formation, fertility preferences, knowledge and use of family planning methods, breastfeeding practices, abortion, infertility, knowledge of STIs/HIV/AIDS, women's empowerment, and marital violence.

It is a national and representative sample of 5,831 women between 15-49 years old and 2,813 men between 15-59 years old who were interviewed.